How Pre-to-Space killed EE
Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:31 pm
I know you're out there. Sitting in a 7/8 pre game waiting a couple hours for your last player to get off work. Pre players are the cockroaches of Empire Earth. When other settings player amounts began to dwindle, pre didn't care. Some people were simply lost and in their confusion stumbled into the pre-games, where they were welcomed with open arms (AoC not xenophobic eec). With laughs and friendly pats on the back, they allowed disoriented once worthwhile players to engage in melee grenwar into no rush three hundred boom games. A twisted setting, where the wing is just a decoy. You don't matter. You spend the entire game trying to kill their citizens and economy, vice versa, that's it. Good job, you have completed what little gameplay you are given on wing. Enjoy hitting copper and noticing your pocket on your mines. The fellow wing drowns in poverty like you, and there isn't going to be any charity towards you. So you sit there playing little cat and mouse games over a wall or something equally pointless. But it's going well isn't it? Not as far along as the ole pocket, but there is definite improvement epoch wise. Maybe you'll be able to reach the skies and soar above your counterpart, the poor sap still in the middle ages, hah. World War I, one more age to go for aerial relevance. Then it happens. You can only watch in horror. Yellow nukes from the enemy pocket no one has seen for three hours descend into your base. Those fifty populated capitals you worked so hard on, gone. It's an unimpressive looking base and economy but god damnit you spent 3 hours making it. This is your home, and now it's gone. Some guy who got attacked by club men a few times around the ten minute mark was then left alone, no one really aware what he was up to. What do you do now? Your pocket feigns interest as you can already see the rubble is gone, he has placed some TCs there, brushing aside the recently deceased to further increase his economic empire. What do you do now? Alt f4 could help with frustration, but only slightly. The game would continue, probably for two more hours. How does it feel? Not being remotely part of the game, just an expendable bodyguard so the pocket can get to space. This is how pre gets you, it rips out your very soul and sacrifices you. The most deplorable tactics imaginable are employed without any question. Space age sucks too, enough said.
The only thing that is considered unacceptable is AK. Any pre player reading this, just cringed. The thought so hideous, the game is already over. One ostrich has died, time to drop and start a new game 30 minutes into it. Of course, there a certain urge they hold back. Anyone who has played a pre player in a different setting, will notice how quickly and how efficiently you will be AK'd. In my brief tenure into pre, I AK'd a lot. I admit it, I don't care. It was great seeing them lose their heads over a dead giraffe or hippo. Even better when they couldn't ascertain who did it. Of the AK topic though, there was a certain double standard, further establishing the evils of pre. They run their clubmen through your towers, trying to kill your animals. Pre players don't even have the guts to kill it themselves, instead they try to force you to do it to yourself, and there's nothing you can do. The play is sickening, and these people refused to ever try new settings, to addicted to mediocrity and intense club micro. They just sat in their five star expert pre games, shaking their heads at less forward thinking settings. How can you enjoy EE with more than two units for forty five minutes? This is the kind of poisonous thinking that prowls through their minds. Pre is a place for those sick of it all, variables and innovation. The calmness of clubs clubs clubs and clubs followed into four hour stalemates and putting temples spaced fourteen inches apart is just too soothing for them. It all works the way it should. There are more crimes committed by pre, but I refuse to glorify the sickening Asian strategies, because fuck them.
The only thing that is considered unacceptable is AK. Any pre player reading this, just cringed. The thought so hideous, the game is already over. One ostrich has died, time to drop and start a new game 30 minutes into it. Of course, there a certain urge they hold back. Anyone who has played a pre player in a different setting, will notice how quickly and how efficiently you will be AK'd. In my brief tenure into pre, I AK'd a lot. I admit it, I don't care. It was great seeing them lose their heads over a dead giraffe or hippo. Even better when they couldn't ascertain who did it. Of the AK topic though, there was a certain double standard, further establishing the evils of pre. They run their clubmen through your towers, trying to kill your animals. Pre players don't even have the guts to kill it themselves, instead they try to force you to do it to yourself, and there's nothing you can do. The play is sickening, and these people refused to ever try new settings, to addicted to mediocrity and intense club micro. They just sat in their five star expert pre games, shaking their heads at less forward thinking settings. How can you enjoy EE with more than two units for forty five minutes? This is the kind of poisonous thinking that prowls through their minds. Pre is a place for those sick of it all, variables and innovation. The calmness of clubs clubs clubs and clubs followed into four hour stalemates and putting temples spaced fourteen inches apart is just too soothing for them. It all works the way it should. There are more crimes committed by pre, but I refuse to glorify the sickening Asian strategies, because fuck them.